Dating is not an easy game and often first impressions count. Many people go on a first date armed with questions or a plan but too many questions can often make the other person feel like they are being interviewed. There is always going to be a little tension and nerves on a first date and this is perfectly normal. It is better to acquaint yourself with what NOT to say and then just focus on enjoying yourself. After all, a date should be about two people getting to know one another and having fun, not one party feeling like they are being interrogated by the CIA! Relax, have fun and enjoy!
1. I would pay but it’s all equal rights these days and I don’t want to upset you.
This comment is double edged. Firstly it implies you are a cheapskate and looking for an excuse not to pay. Secondly it comes across as not understanding feminism or feeling intimidated by it. No one is ever going to be upset with you for buying them some food. They will just think – wow what a generous guy!
2. Anything that starts with “My ex…”
Mentioning an ex on a first date is a big red flag to any normal woman and will raise questions in her mind such as “Is he not over his ex?” “Is she still around?” “Is he damaged goods?” “Is he one of those insecure guys that can’t get over what his ex did?”
This may make you look sore and bitter still, like you are still in love with her or have problems moving on. This topic is best avoided for the first few dates if you wish to look like a stable human being.
3. Do you mind if I kiss you?
Asking permission for a kiss is a real passion killer! You’ll sense when she wants to kiss you so just wait for the right moment and don’t rush it. Start with some light touches on the arm and see if she is comfortable with this or pulls away. A jokey hug can be a good way to see how she reacts. If she looks at your lips a lot (and you don’t have a huge cold sore) then she definitely wants to kiss you.
Don’t rush it though and encourage intimacy by whispering in her ear. Not in a creepy way, just tell her she is the prettiest lady in the room and whisper gently. If she giggles and smiles you are onto a winner!
4. You have no taste in music/food/films..
Criticising someone on a first date is not going to win you any points. Some guys think that insulting a women is a good way to pull them but any intelligent woman with an ounce of respect for themselves is going to form the opinion that you are a massive creep and will lose interest pronto!
5. My date will have the steak/fish/chicken…
Woah – hold your horses Mr Presumptuous! By all means saying “I’ve heard the fish here is amazing” might be a welcomed comment, deciding what your date will have is more than a touch controlling and she might think you are one of those guys that has to get his own way all the time and control everything they do. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
6. “You’ll love my parents…”
This is presumptuous and more than a little terrifying! Some people might find it sweet, but generally no one wants to start making major life plans on a first date. This is a sure fire way to ensure that a second date is not an option!
7. “We should do..”
This is a tricky one. Try and stick to – “Have you ever done go-karting/paint-balling? I think you’d love it!” At the end of the date it’s ok to ask if they enjoyed themselves and if they would like to do something again, but as a rule trying to make specific plans and use the word “we” can make someone feel too rushed.
8. Sexist, Racist or Homophobic comments.
Do you want to look like a narrow minded hater? No? Avoid this then!
9. Commenting on other women.
You are on a date with a woman so pay attention to her and be attentive. If you stare at other woman, comment on them or flirt with the waitress you’ll come across as a guy who can’t keep his dick in his pants. Date number 2 will never arise and nor will your man parts!
10. Don’t bring up the subject of sex or mention past experiences
If she does and you are happy with it fine but never initiate this as you’ll appear one track minded. Plus if you mention past conquests she might feel as you have have expectations or an agenda.
It’s fine to be the nice guy, be yourself but there is no need to blurt out anything inappropriate or opinionated. Keep it simple, easy going and fun! If you managed a blooper find out what she likes and try to steer the conversation that way – you may just be able to salvage it!
